Cindy's a free woman, what's her to do list?

As I write this, I am putting together a list of most of the things that I can accomplish without Adam by my side. Some of the things will require time and effort, some things are easy. Here goes.

1. Going to sleep whenever I want
2. Waking up whenever I want
3. Driving to work without making detours
4. Dressing only myself in the morning
5. Saving $756 on daycare every month
6. Put away $25K in savings
7. Eating a full meal without feeding someone else
8. watching a full tv show without interruption
9. Taking a shower without someone opening the door
10. Studying and taking the GRE or GMAT
11. Getting a masters (in what, i don't know yet)

Tuesday, 3/9
So reading this list the day after writing it is interesting. I am putting mostly day to day activities on here. And in here lies the rub. I should morph my outlook into a more long reaching one, and discontinue being very short sighted and impatient.

I had a heart to heart with my mom yesterday about how I felt about sending Adam to his dad's. I chose this route, and I should deal maturely with the consequences. I will have to eventually share Adam with his other parent, and while his daddy takes responsibility I can regain my life, as I wanted to do when I first chose to start this journey. And as a parent we love our children this is our life. But I should not let my parental selfishness bar Adam from enjoying time with his other parent. His daddy apparently makes him happy too and who am I to try and take that away from Adam?

Last night Adam slept without socks on. Throughout the night I would find his two feet wedged in my pillow, or between my knees, or under my arm. And here in lies my solace. No matter where he is, what he's doing, whether he's sleeping or awake, his toes will find their way back to me.

I can't hope that this is the right choice. I can only KNOW so, and wait and see what happens.